Monday, July 30, 2012

Ravings PII: All music blogs are terrible and useless.

While we* were at the Newport Folk Festival this past weekend ("we" being actual "we," not our fond royal "we"), we were pondering something. We're not exactly sure how to put this, but here's where the idea was started: during one of the sets, it started raining. Another media-type beside us (most likely, tag hidden under a coat) started texting or tweeting or some sort of thing on his phone. While it was raining. Drops hit on the screen, and still "bip, bop, boop" and all that good stuff.
Here then, is the thought: how stupid are we? As in "we, the media," not people in general or us in specifically, the royal "we."
We specifically are pretty awesome, as far as media(ish)-types go.

Still, we're reporting (or soon to report) on the Newport Folk Festival, a live venue obviously, and how useful is it to you, the music purchaser (commonly known as "y'all") to hear what we have to say - or tweet - well after the fact. It is one thing to recommend an album you guys may go into the record store to pick up, but to give a review of bands you may or may not have wanted to see, and well after you're able to see them, what good does that do y'all?
We think we have the solution.

The problem, first, is that blogs are terrible. They are brown-nosing, grubby, tweedling little trolls that thrive on coolness law of "I was there, therefore I am." This only makes brown-nosing worse. While we respect that bands and musicians take years, not months or weekends or coffee breaks, to learn their instruments, and several more to hone their sound and develop their voices, honest media show respect through, erm, honesty. Really. Not that we care about all that, but we've heard good things about it. Just so y'all (the readers) know where we all (reviewers) are coming from.

We get free music. We review said free music, and get why a person might get antsy to write something good about it. So in our honest experience, we find the large music-bloggery to be largely a waste of time. Play Scrabble instead. Walk the dog already. In who-knows-how-many-years we still haven't found a good critic with our particular tastes, so we're not expecting you to, either. Yes, really. Don't be afraid to turn off the computer, cause Pasty.com is not the only place that will play Super Ultimate Superband's "Super Single." If they're really that good, you'll probably hear them around somewhere else, right? Deductive reasoning, b##ches.

(Obviously, it's important to keep on your $800 iPhone through rain and snow and tornadoes - no exceptions.)

Blogs come and blogs go, but that cash spent on "A Salt-n-Pepa Christmas" never comes back. Keep that in mind when you can't scrape two nickles for an old Creedence vinyl.

*All of that ranting above - we're obviously the exception. Of course. Certainly feel free to comment below on where/how you find good music, it can sometimes be quite a process. Above all, enjoy,
-Mgmt.

No comments:

Post a Comment